Heart-to-Heart With Sofia

I apologized to Sofia today. I realized I had been kind of ostracizing her over the past few days because she was being too much for me to handle. I think seems to be depressed, and like I mentioned before was using me as her primary support system post breakup. 

It was getting to be too much for me so I thought that stepping away and not answering her texts, spending more time outside the apartment, etc, would help cool everything down and make her realize she was putting too much on me. After a few days of this I noticed she was withdrawing from our roommates even more, and seemed sadder than before. Right away I realized I wasn’t helping things at all and I was making them worse for her, so I asked her to meet me for coffee out of the apartment so we could talk. I told her that I’m really sorry for ignoring her recently, I know she’s going through a tough time, but I can’t be the only person holding her up through it. 

Thankfully, she wasn’t mad at me and she understood where I was coming from. I think we communicated well, in retrospect this isn’t the first time Sofia has put a lot on my shoulders over something she’s going through personally... so it’s definitely good that we finally talked it out. I suggested that she talk to the campus mental health services and she agreed to try a couple counseling sessions to hopefully work it through with someone who can help more than I can. She even agreed to go to a park with me next weekend! It seemed like she was feeling especially lonely post breakup, so hopefully getting out and about again will show her she has plenty of friends who are there for her. 

I realized after our talk that at first I was being very responsive to her needs and emotions, which is why she leaned so heavily on me, but then out of nowhere I became unresponsive to her emotions, which pushed her away way more than I intended. I really hope that things start looking up for her soon! I think they will.